Fair Love

Basics of Love


Person Object

Sexual Desire

Object of Use

Understanding Love

Young Love



Betrothed Love

Characteristics of Love



If your love has developed in a balanced way you will recognise attraction, desire and goodwill towards the other person. If your love is going to last, your sexual desire is overshadowed by your need for the person whom you love. The enormous implication is that you want that person to give himself or herself to you.

The idea of giving oneself to another only makes sense if it is reciprocal, and so a progression of love between man and woman is towards a mutual desire for the person who is such a good for them. The essential trial of friendship underpins a mutual self-gift in which the ' I 's are changed at the very core of their freedom. To understand this we must know what freedom truly is.

Giving ourselves is clear proof that we possess ourselves, and the gift is to a freely chosen person. This self-giving is in love, and towards attainment of an ever greater fullness of existence. Freedom is not so much “freedom of choice” but more in “freedom for self-giving” in a way in which we remain in possession of our person and thus can continue the gift.

Now your love is ready for sexual intimacy in marriage where it can assume its fullness in experience and richness in meaning and symbolism. This love precludes any use of the person and every action is conditioned by the good of the other person.

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Photograph acknowledgement: Threshold Magazine