The Other Person

To understand what makes a love that lasts, it helps to briefly ignore the differences between the sexes and think of the similarities. Put yourself in the place of the person that you want to love and that you want to love you. That person, like you, has, or at least should have, distinct personal goals. So if you love that person you will evaluate those goals and treat them as if they were your own. (continued below)

Each person in a true and mutual love must make the good of the other his or her own goal. If we really love that person we will not use them just to satisfy our own pleasure seeking. To love them means to make their personal good the focus of our relationship. Thus the lover 'goes outside' the self to find a fuller existence in another.

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